Vacation Gone Wrong - A Cautionary Tale.

[John F.]

 

This is a long read, so if you do not have a lot of time on your hands, you will probably want to skip to the next thread.

 

Here is a story of how I messed up. I can't be the first person this has happened to and I know I will not be the last.  It may be the end of my hobbying activities.

 

It all started one afternoon with me showing my ATF pictures of a mountain range.  My ATF asked me when was the last time I was there.  "Well, not since 2017, since I have no one to travel with," I replied.

 

My ATF promptly responded , "I'll go with you."  

 

Me: "Well, your daily rate is  a little bit too decadent for my taste."  

 

My ATF:  "I won't charge you.  You just have to feed me."

 

Not really believing her that she was serious,  I told her to shoot me a text if she truly had interest in going.  So  about thirty minutes later, I am driving home, and I receive a text from her indicating that we should make plans to go on the trip soon.  All is sounding good . . . right?  Keep reading.  Things start falling off the wheels relatively quickly

 

So I start planning, and book an eight hundred dollar a night hotel.  I spend hours researching activities for us to do and restaurants that would best suit our dietary needs.   I start preparing and making a bunch of food to take a long way,  make reservations for activities,  make a bunch of calls to obtain  a dogsitter to watch my dogs  (they came along) for when we are out doing  scheduled activities.  I send all this info to my ATF to make sure she is on board with everything.

 

So the first day of the trip I drive an hour to Denver to pick her up.   The drive to the mountains is beautiful (except for one of my dogs whining incessantly in the car),  No traffic.  Everything is working smoothly!

 

After a beautiful drive, we spend an hour in the hot tub at the hotel, then we go to my favorite mountain range,  which is stunning. We then get take out, which was also amazingly good.  Again, all is going well.   

 

Now by nature, I am a planner.  I generally plan for all sorts of contigencies and what to do if things go wrong.  It's part of my job to think like that.  However in this case I did not have the foresight to think about what might go wrong between my ATF and me. 

 

It's time to go to bed and my ATF is laying naked next to me. (What more can anyone ask for?)  Well, that's when I learn from her that there will be no affection or physical intimacy on this trip.  (Queue in the "price is right" loser horn sound.)

 

Now I know I should have had the foresight to envision this as a  possibility, but I did not. The only times I have been around her in the past have been nothing but physical intimacy.  My brain did not register this as a probable outcome given how real she makes things feel during a session.  I also tend to get a little giddy when thinking about her and was just not thinking rationally.  ( Now some of you are thinking that I should have been prepared for this possibility given this was a trip, not a session. I already acknowledged that I was not thinking rationally.)

 

Right or wrong, I felt rejected and felt like I was being used for a free trip. She felt like she was being used for her body.  We decide to leave the next morning, but I could not sleep the whole night.  My behavior was poor.    The  four hour ride home was miserable. (Somehow my dog's whining sounded much worse on the way back home.) We were both emanating not so good feelings for each other.  That's basically how it ended.  I should have handled things much better.

 

I wrongly blamed her thinking she was more worldly than me about traveling with companions.  I wrongly expected her to clue me in on some ground rules beforehand.

 

 I could look past the bad experience of the trip, but my ATF could not. She will no longer see me on a professional.basis    Being with her  was one of my favorite activities .but my behavior on the "dream vacation trip"  torpedoed that relationship going forward

 

If I could go back in time and do things differently, I would.

[Caressa Duval]

In my opinion, your ATF should have made it clear this was a "friends only" date from the start.  Keeping with that, she should have NOT been laying naked next to you in bed! That is a terrible thing to do to anyone, lay naked next to a person and say "no".  If a man I was attracted to, did that to me...he would be sleeping in the hallway, and finding his own way home!

[gr8owl]

18 minutes ago, Caressa Duval said:

 That is a terrible thing to do to anyone, lay naked next to a person and say "no".  

Yeah, only wives get to do that!!

Seriously, I agree she should have made clear from the start it was friends only.  But so should he have!!  They are both grown ass adults that knew each other well.  The statement about daily rates being too "decadent" (as opposed to an 800/night hotel!?!?) should have alerted both to an issue.  And how can he take "just feed me" to be an invitation to sex included?  She may be ATF, but that would be an official girlfriend invitation.  BTW I have known combination adventures to work well for both in the past - concert, dinner, etc. on me "off the clock" followed by XX hours regular session at regular rates.  But yes, we knew each other well and the concert was something she wanted to do as much as I did, and she proposed off the clock.  It aint rocket surgery, but you have to settle details ahead of time - especially important ones like sex and money!!!!

[VirgilBliss]

That's text book!. Friendship here is only a one way street, man.

[Mr.Pink]

Should have left her up there.

[Hunter VanDyke]

Kudos to her for not giving him a free session. Why does she have to make anything clear ahead of time. He never booked a session with her.  He said he hadn't gone in years because he didn't have anyone to go with him. She volunteered to go free of charge. Lucky guy! She accompanied him to the mountains which was agreed to by both parties.  HE decided he wanted more once there...okay how about ASKING for a session while you're up there and paying for it.  If he isn't going to be okay laying next to a woman and not playing he should have got separate rooms or at the very least separate beds, or offered to have a session with her.  He knows himself better than anyone.  Sounds like she would have been fine with any of those scenarios, sounds to me like she just wanted to go to the mountains and have a good time and if she worked a little too well great, she's down.  

Ask a provider if she would rather have a session in a $600 hotel room with zero dollars in Compensation, or a $100 hotel room with $500 in Compensation. 🤔

Sadly, this is a major screw up that could have been avoided with a little communication. This whole trip could have been so much fun and enjoyable and both parties could be planning their next get away. Very sad. Sorry OP it's a horrible lesson to learn.  Hopefully you only vented your frustrations to her and you didn't treat her poorly. 

 

[Steve Rogers]

10 minutes ago, Hunter VanDyke said:

Kudos to her for not giving him a free session. Why does she have to make anything clear ahead of time. He never booked a session with her.  He said he hadn't gone in years because he didn't have anyone to go with him. She volunteered to go free of charge. Lucky guy! She accompanied him to the mountains which was agreed to by both parties.  HE decided he wanted more once there...okay how about ASKING for a session while you're up there and paying for it.  If he isn't going to be okay laying next to a woman and not playing he should have got separate rooms or at the very least separate beds, or offered to have a session with her.  He knows himself better than anyone.  Sounds like she would have been fine with any of those scenarios, sounds to me like she just wanted to go to the mountains and have a good time and if she worked a little too well great, she's down.  

Ask a provider if she would rather have a session in a $600 hotel room with zero dollars in Compensation, or a $100 hotel room with $500 in Compensation. 🤔

Sadly, this is a major screw up that could have been avoided with a little communication. This whole trip could have been so much fun and enjoyable and both parties could be planning their next get away. Very sad. Sorry OP it's a horrible lesson to learn.  Hopefully you only vented your frustrations to her and you didn't treat her poorly. 

 

Agreed, communication is key. To the OP.....I messed up similarly to this. And looking back now; it was my fault and my mistake. I don't blame the provider that this happened with. I should have made lines/boundaries more clear and not expect more than what was clearly stated. 

 This "hobby" can be hard at times because attractions do happen and lines/boundaries can get blurred. Best to stick with clear sessions and if "bonus" time together can be had...... don't expect physical intimacy after the "bonus" time. 

[mustang]

All I can say is that she is in the business of selling her "time" as a companion.  If I read the O.P. correctly,  he clearly stated that her rate for her company was too much for this extended encounter.  She, as a result, said that she would go for free, all he had to do was "feed me".  From what I read, she did get fed.  He should have clarified what would and would not happen during this trip, but for a companion to be in his bed, sans clothing, seems to be suggesting a certain amount of intimacy was welcome.  Kinda like going to a chili cook-off and getting yelled at for tasting the chili.   The only mistake he made was forgetting what her business was and thinking this was anything more than a free trip for his now ex atf.   

Good on him for accepting the "no" after such an enticement.  Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

[hornyoldtoad]

communication is key - having read this thread i see both sides - bummer it worked out the way it did - certainly won't the next time if there is one - and i hope there is one - but this is a lesson for all - me included...

[gr8owl]

4 hours ago, mustang said:

 

Good on him for accepting the "no" after such an enticement.  Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

As opposed to what exactly? 

Sounds to me like they fooled each other (perhaps unintentionally) and kinda deserved each other.  Always get the terms clear at the start of any agreement, escorting no different and even more important.

[Savoir Faire]

22 hours ago, John F. said:

 

This is a long read, so if you do not have a lot of time on your hands, you will probably want to skip to the next thread.

 

Here is a story of how I messed up. I can't be the first person this has happened to and I know I will not be the last.  It may be the end of my hobbying activities.

 

It all started one afternoon with me showing my ATF pictures of a mountain range.  My ATF asked me when was the last time I was there.  "Well, not since 2017, since I have no one to travel with," I replied.

 

My ATF promptly responded , "I'll go with you."  

 

Me: "Well, your daily rate is  a little bit too decadent for my taste."  

 

My ATF:  "I won't charge you.  You just have to feed me."

 

Not really believing her that she was serious,  I told her to shoot me a text if she truly had interest in going.  So  about thirty minutes later, I am driving home, and I receive a text from her indicating that we should make plans to go on the trip soon.  All is sounding good . . . right?  Keep reading.  Things start falling off the wheels relatively quickly

 

So I start planning, and book an eight hundred dollar a night hotel.  I spend hours researching activities for us to do and restaurants that would best suit our dietary needs.   I start preparing and making a bunch of food to take a long way,  make reservations for activities,  make a bunch of calls to obtain  a dogsitter to watch my dogs  (they came along) for when we are out doing  scheduled activities.  I send all this info to my ATF to make sure she is on board with everything.

 

So the first day of the trip I drive an hour to Denver to pick her up.   The drive to the mountains is beautiful (except for one of my dogs whining incessantly in the car),  No traffic.  Everything is working smoothly!

 

After a beautiful drive, we spend an hour in the hot tub at the hotel, then we go to my favorite mountain range,  which is stunning. We then get take out, which was also amazingly good.  Again, all is going well.   

 

Now by nature, I am a planner.  I generally plan for all sorts of contigencies and what to do if things go wrong.  It's part of my job to think like that.  However in this case I did not have the foresight to think about what might go wrong between my ATF and me. 

 

It's time to go to bed and my ATF is laying naked next to me. (What more can anyone ask for?)  Well, that's when I learn from her that there will be no affection or physical intimacy on this trip.  (Queue in the "price is right" loser horn sound.)

 

Now I know I should have had the foresight to envision this as a  possibility, but I did not. The only times I have been around her in the past have been nothing but physical intimacy.  My brain did not register this as a probable outcome given how real she makes things feel during a session.  I also tend to get a little giddy when thinking about her and was just not thinking rationally.  ( Now some of you are thinking that I should have been prepared for this possibility given this was a trip, not a session. I already acknowledged that I was not thinking rationally.)

 

Right or wrong, I felt rejected and felt like I was being used for a free trip. She felt like she was being used for her body.  We decide to leave the next morning, but I could not sleep the whole night.  My behavior was poor.    The  four hour ride home was miserable. (Somehow my dog's whining sounded much worse on the way back home.) We were both emanating not so good feelings for each other.  That's basically how it ended.  I should have handled things much better.

 

I wrongly blamed her thinking she was more worldly than me about traveling with companions.  I wrongly expected her to clue me in on some ground rules beforehand.

 

 I could look past the bad experience of the trip, but my ATF could not. She will no longer see me on a professional.basis    Being with her  was one of my favorite activities .but my behavior on the "dream vacation trip"  torpedoed that relationship going forward

 

If I could go back in time and do things differently, I would.

LOL......................You joined TOB just to post this story huh? I hope she reads it and you guys can patch up things................Next time a woman gets in bed with you naked and won't give it to you, squeeze off a few right when she is asleep LMAO......................Poor fella

[ilovewomen]

10 hours ago, Savoir Faire said:

You joined TOB just to post this story huh? 

Yeah, I noticed that too.  Kinda makes you wonder why he felt the need to join and post his mis-adventure.

[Caressa Duval]

25 minutes ago, ilovewomen said:

Yeah, I noticed that too.  Kinda makes you wonder why he felt the need to join and post his mis-adventure.

Was chatting with a wise friend about this post, he pointed a few things out to me. This reads like a seasoned poster to the board, that know the ins and outs of the forum. It could be possible the OP has just created an alter ego to post about this mis-adventure.  All you need is an email address to join as a man on here, and those are easy to get.  You don't even have to prove that you are a man,  just check the box and presto you are a member.

[Phil-anderer]

Communication, communication, communication.  

I would've booked a $200 hotel, and used the rest of that for fun.  But I wouldn't have gone without having a conversation about expectations.  It would've ended much better if you had, and/or changed your decision about the trip.

[sb1212]

Poor assumptions from both parties:

Him : Im gonna have a great weekend with my ATF that will include a lot of fun in and out of bed.

Her: Sweet! I get to go to a beautiful mountain location, eat well, stay in a fabulous hotel and participate in fun  activities,  all without having to perform the usual bedtime gymnastics! A well-needed/deserved break..

The reality:

Him: I got used and abused

Her: He wanted something for nothing

Question to OP:  Understanding that you were shocked and dismayed and perhaps not thinking straight, could you not have simply offered her normal 60/90 minute rate and continuedd a blissful evening?

[hornyoldtoad]

2 hours ago, Caressa Duval said:

Was chatting with a wise friend about this post, he pointed a few things out to me. This reads like a seasoned poster to the board, that know the ins and outs of the forum. It could be possible the OP has just created an alter ego to post about this mis-adventure.  All you need is an email address to join as a man on here, and those are easy to get.  You don't even have to prove that you are a man,  just check the box and presto you are a member.

i was thinking that too - to avoid getting shelled in the he said she said crossfire and its consequences, many will alter ego a post like this...

possible that time will tell with post count and content...

either way, still a good lesson to learn:)  

[oldertruckguy-9225]

Perhaps I am getting to cynical in my old age but I had the very same thoughts. The post does remind all us that, no matter what,  expectations must always be clearly defined. .

5 hours ago, Caressa Duval said:

Was chatting with a wise friend about this post, he pointed a few things out to me. This reads like a seasoned poster to the board, that know the ins and outs of the forum. It could be possible the OP has just created an alter ego to post about this mis-adventure.  All you need is an email address to join as a man on here, and those are easy to get.  You don't even have to prove that you are a man,  just check the box and presto you are a member.

 

[Vassago]

I don’t understand how people can underestimate the power of positive thinking so much.

Next time, no talking, no second guessing just quietly roll over and slip your penis into her vagina.

It’s no different than finding out if your girlfriend is into anal sex the first time you try it.

 

Just make sure you have a plan B if things go horribly wrong. 
 

“I thought that was the pillow. My bad.” Is a good one to use.

[Caressa Duval]

10 minutes ago, Vassago said:

 

Next time, no talking, no second guessing just quietly roll over and slip your penis into her vagina.

Wow! That would be a felony charge!

[Savoir Faire]

8 hours ago, ilovewomen said:

Yeah, I noticed that too.  Kinda makes you wonder why he felt the need to join and post his mis-adventure.

He is definitely not a NEWBIE is what I was getting at LOL............ Maybe just maybe she won't respond to his text so this was a last resort.

[frostyjack]

What I don’t understand is why would she jump into bed naked and say "closed for business"? That just seems a little cruel to me. Otherwise, yeah, lots of bad assumptions made all around. Hopefully you get the chance to patch things up, OP!

[Caressa Duval]

37 minutes ago, frostyjack said:

What I don’t understand is why would she jump into bed naked and say "closed for business"? That just seems a little cruel to me. Otherwise, yeah, lots of bad assumptions made all around. Hopefully you get the chance to patch things up, OP!

There are always 3 sides to a story. Her side, his side, and the right side. Unfortunately, we don't have her side.  More and more, I believe this person is a frequent poster under a different handle.  Why he didn't just write a review? Anyone's guess.... I also feel this is a respectable provider that is not willing to disclose anywhere what happened, because she has too much class.

[Hunter VanDyke]

3 hours ago, Vassago said:

I don’t understand how people can underestimate the power of positive thinking so much.

Next time, no talking, no second guessing just quietly roll over and slip your penis into her vagina.

It’s no different than finding out if your girlfriend is into anal sex the first time you try it.

 

Just make sure you have a plan B if things go horribly wrong. 
 

“I thought that was the pillow. My bad.” Is a good one to use.

This is a hobby for consenting adults. No consent is rape.  You aren't seriously advocating this are you? Is this how you function with women in your private life too? This is disgusting. 

[John F.]

37 minutes ago, Caressa Duval said:

There are always 3 sides to a story. Her side, his side, and the right side. Unfortunately, we don't have her side.  More and more, I believe this person is a frequent poster under a different handle.  Why he didn't just write a review? Anyone's guess.... I also feel this is a respectable provider that is not willing to disclose anywhere what happened, because she has too much class.

 

I guess I will chime in to answer your question of why no review.

First,. you're right.  She is a respectable provider, does have a lot of a class, and has a stellar reputation.   Second, there was nothing to review, since there was no session.  Third, I am not going to disclose her identity via a review or otherwise.  

It's just a story that might be helpful to others. It was  helpful to me write the story and to hear others' thoughts.

I hope that helps clarify things.  I am going to try to refrain from posting further on this subject. I hope folks understand.

Edited July 17, 2021 by John F.
error correction

[frostyjack]

6 hours ago, Caressa Duval said:

There are always 3 sides to a story. Her side, his side, and the right side. Unfortunately, we don't have her side.  More and more, I believe this person is a frequent poster under a different handle.  Why he didn't just write a review? Anyone's guess.... I also feel this is a respectable provider that is not willing to disclose anywhere what happened, because she has too much class.

You're absolutely right about there always being more to the story, and I guess that was partially my point, that part doesn't fit. Eh, regardless, I doubt we'll get any more than this, and it's not really any of our business anyway. 

[2Big]

On 15.7.2021 at 9:25 PM, Hunter VanDyke said:

Kudos to her for not giving him a free session. Why does she have to make anything clear ahead of time. He never booked a session with her.  He said he hadn't gone in years because he didn't have anyone to go with him. She volunteered to go free of charge. Lucky guy! She accompanied him to the mountains which was agreed to by both parties.  HE decided he wanted more once there...okay how about ASKING for a session while you're up there and paying for it.  If he isn't going to be okay laying next to a woman and not playing he should have got separate rooms or at the very least separate beds, or offered to have a session with her.  He knows himself better than anyone.  Sounds like she would have been fine with any of those scenarios, sounds to me like she just wanted to go to the mountains and have a good time and if she worked a little too well great, she's down.  

Ask a provider if she would rather have a session in a $600 hotel room with zero dollars in Compensation, or a $100 hotel room with $500 in Compensation. 🤔

Sadly, this is a major screw up that could have been avoided with a little communication. This whole trip could have been so much fun and enjoyable and both parties could be planning their next get away. Very sad. Sorry OP it's a horrible lesson to learn.  Hopefully you only vented your frustrations to her and you didn't treat her poorly. 

 

I agree 100%. The guy fucked up at the most important part of his elaborate "trip planning": is there going to be sex? This should have been the first question asked, because everything would have followed from that. 

Nope, instead he made all kinds of assumptions, hoping she would let him bust a nut for free, just for the privilege of staring at some rocks. 

In other words: Failing to prepare is preparing to fail!

[2Big]

9 hours ago, frostyjack said:

What I don’t understand is why would she jump into bed naked and say "closed for business"? 

Because she likes to sleep naked?

[John F.]

5 hours ago, 2Big said:

Because she likes to sleep naked?

Correct. I am sure that was the reason and not for any negative purpose.   Also, after I expressed disappointment with the situation, she put on clothing and slept on the couch for the remainder of the evening.

Another point of clarification is that she indicated that we both should have clarified activities beforehand.   She accepted partial responsibility in not clarifying what was going to happen  before I even posted here.

You're 100% correct on your preparation statement.

Lessons learned by me.   Maybe this thread was instructive for others.

 

Edited July 17, 2021 by John F.
error correction

[frostyjack]

5 hours ago, 2Big said:

Because she likes to sleep naked?

Maybe. But a professional sex worker, who's career is to turn men on, jumps naked into bed with a regular client (who's relationship up until this point has centered around sex) with absolutely no intention of having sex with him, after spending the whole day with him, and she's surprised/shocked he wants to bang one out? I'm not buying it.

[lintlizard]

I think it was the whiny dog that derailed the date.....